Confidence

Height of confidence: Once many professors were called and asked to sit in an airplane..After they sat, They were informed that the plane is made by their students..All of them ran and got out of plane except one..People asked him the reason..

He said,"If it's made by my students it will not even start."

Dead body

Teacher: If you have 10 chocolate cakes and someone asks for 2, How many do u have left? Me: 10...Teacher: Ok, Well what if somebody forcibly takes 2 of the cakes, how many would u have left then ? Me: 10 and a dead body.

Source of business

Commerce professor asks the student: what is the most important source of finance for starting business? Student: "Father in law".

Heart attack for mother

Teacher: Johny, if your father earned $100,000 and gave half of it to your mother, what would she have?

Little johny: A heart attack!

Different Types of Call Duration Summaries

📞Different Types of Call Duration Summaries:

boy 👦 to 👦 boy
📞00:00:59☎ ...

boy 👦 to 👩 mom
📞00:00:50☎ ...

boy 👦 to 👨 dad
📞00:00:30☎ ...

boy 👦 to 👧 girl
📞01:23:59☎ ...

girl 👧 to 👧 girl
📞05:29:59☎ ...

girl 👧 to 👦 boy
📞Miss Call☎ ...

husband 👨 to 👩 wife
📞00:00:03☎ ...

wife 👩 to 👨 husband
📞Call Waiting☎ ...

Husband in hotel

(👨) Husband : (calls up Hotel Manager from room) Please come fast, I am having an argument with my wife & she says she will jump from your hotel window.

(💂) Manager : Sir, I am sorry, but this is your personal Issue.
(👨) Husband : Goyyala dei ! The window is not opening! This is a maintenance issue ..😆😆😆

Fish joke

Warning by doctors!!!
.
.
.
Do not drink water after eating fish because, drinking water may cause the fish to swim and then you will feel gulugulu guluglulu in your stomach.

-Doctors from IIN

Dinner two times

TSome people ask the secret of our long marriage...

We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week...

A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing...

She goes Tuesdays,

I go Fridays.

Height Of Attitude

“Height of Attitude”

A Sleeping Beggar puts a Notice Board in front of Him..
Plz Do Not Make Noise By

.

Dropping Coins…!!

Use Currency Notes..!! 

What If Somebody Makes A Mistake?

If a BARBER makes a mistake, its a new
hair style..!!
..
..
If a POLITICIAN makes a mistake, its a new
law..!!
..
..
If a SCIENTIST makes a mistake, its a new invention..!!
..
..
If a TAILOR makes a mistake, its a new
fashion..!!
..
..
If a TEACHER makes a mistake, its a new
theory..!!
.
.
and
..
..
If a STUDENT makes a mistake, its a “MISTAKE”

Leave Application for watching India vs Australia Semi Final Match

Leave Application

Dear Sir,

Greetings!
I dont want to lie. My country needs me tomorrow. It’s time to display the patriotism by entire nation.
I want to apply for the leave which I call as patriotism leave.
Its India vs Australia in world cup semi final. My nation needs me.
Kindly grant me the leave.

.

.

Auto reply from boss.

.

.

Dear Sender,

I will be on sick leave tomorrow.
Response will be delayed.

Regards.

 

Are You An Alcoholic?

I found a Leaflet in my newspaper this morning which read,
“ARE YOU AN ALCOHOLIC? CALL NOW. WE CAN HELP!”

My wife insisted I make the call..

I Called up.
It Was A Liquor Shop Offer : “Buy 3 & Get 1 Free”…

My eyes were filled with tears of joy.!!

Johny Johny Employee Poem

Johny johny..
Yes papa!
Private job.
Yes papa!
Lot of tension..
Yes papa!
Too much work..
Yes papa!
Family life..
No papa!
Bp-sugar..
High papa!
Yearly bonus..
Joke papa!
Monthly pay..
Low papa!
Personal life..
Lost papa!
Weekly off!
ha! ha! ha!

Hug and warning

After An Emotional Hug, Girl whispers to Boy: If You Hug Me once More Like that, I will be yours forever..Boy: Thanks FOR THE WARNING!

Marriage and menu card

Marriage is like going to a restaurant and order something of your choice from the menu, And then look at neighborhood table n wish you”d ordered that…

Wedding cake

At a health forum, speaker asked: What food causes the most suffering for years after eating it? After a long silence, an old man replied Wedding Cake! Of course!

Mad teacher

Teacher: (1)There is a frog, (2)Ship is sinking, (3)potatoes cost Rs 3/kg...Then,what is my age?

STUDENT:32 yrs...

Teacher:How do you know?

STUDENT:Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

What is 143

What is 143 ? I love u..No..I hate u..No..I miss u..No..I wish u..NO..143 means ONE HUNDRED & FORTY THREE....Concentrate on Maths, And not on Romance:)

Smart wife

A woman went shopping, At cash counter she opened her purse to pay. The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse. He cud'nt control his curiosity n asked "Do u always carry ur TV remote with u?" She replied " No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me for shopping today.. The story continues.... The shopkeeper laughs and takes back all the items that lady had purchased. Shocked at this act, she asks the shopkeeper what is he doing. He said your husband has blocked your credit card. MORAL : Respect the hobbies of your husband. Story continues.... Wife took out his husbands credit card from purse and uses it to clear all the bills. Unfortunately he didn't block his own card. Moral:...... Dont underestimate the power of a WIFE.

Wife wanted

One day a man inserted an ‘advertisement’ in the local classifieds:

“Wife wanted”....

Next day he received a hundred letters...

They all said the same thing:

“You can have mine.”